Up a creek, without a Pkv Kanu

Pkv
Pkv

 

 

Here’s something for all you trivia buffs; Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece ‘The Colour Purple’ may well have been inspired by Sir Alex Ferguson. After last weeks derby shambles, Fergie’s face was the brightest shade of purple since Barney overdosed on grapes and Ribena, in an unusually depressing episode of Barney & Friends. Somebody will pay for Fergie’s bruised ego, that somebody is Liverpool.

 

The Scousers may be Champions of Europe, but they’re still not amongst the domestic elite. Their recent form looks impressive at first glance, but dig a little deeper and you’ll discover that their opposition were easier to beat than Joe Cole. Their record against the big 3 this season is dismal; played four, won zero. A wounded Man U are a dangerous animal and the Pool are easy prey. Get on at even money.

 

Bookmakers were excited to hear of the training ground spat Pkv between Van Nistelrooy and Ronaldo. One leading odds compiler immediately offered 8/13 Van Nistelrooy in the ruck; explaining that a horse should always be favoured over a one trick pony. Van the man should be backed at 5/4 to score against the Reds.

 

Arsenal are what is known in the betting industry as a nailed on, in the bag, raging certainty. After hitting Boro for seven, they travel to Goodison to play a side they walloped 7-0 just last year; the Gunners are the weekend nap at 8/13. Alexander Hleb broke his goal scoring duck for Arsenal last weekend, the RSPCA have been informed. Goals are like buses, the Belarusian is 9/2 to repeat the feat against the Toffeemen.

 

Sam Allardyce was not a happy bunny after last weeks draw with Blackburn, he whipped out a set of stats that suggested Mike Riley favoured the team playing at home. Next week; Big Sam hints that the Earth may revolve around the Sun. Here’s another obvious fact, get on Bolton at 6/5 to beat Man City. Trevor Sinclair believes that scoring a goal is better than sex, he must know my wife. Trevor’s boys will find goals hard to come by at the Reebok, back Bolton to keep a clean sheet at 7/4.

 

West Brom are odds on for relegation, their best player is away at the African Nations Cup and they blew a 2-0 lead against a Championship team before being booted out of the FA Cup in midweek. The better bettor knows the first rule in Premiership punting is to avoid Sunderland; at 4/1 against a depleted West Brom, meet the exception to the rule.

 

It’s been a turbulent couple of weeks for Joe Cole, the future of English football. First, Jose threatened to drop him from the first team due to showboating; then a misunderstanding over a page 3 model led to Cole receiving two black eyes. Young Joe may have had his knockers, but he’s worth an interest at 13/8 to score against Charlton, or at 7/1 to bag a nice pair.

 

A pensioner from Tyne & Wear passed on last week after Newcastle lost away at Fulham. I was shocked to hear that Graeme Souness’ team selection was a factor; the police said it was an assisted Souey side. Some doubt the existence of zombies; yet Souness is undoubtedly a dead man walking. Blackburn have this Toon nailed; get on at 9/5.